Movin' On

So I haven't had much creative inspiration lately, that would be the reasoning for the lack of posts. Not there hasn't been any material around me, there is more than ever, to much to remember, and I get so wrapped up in it that I forget to step back and observe the bouquet of humor blooming before me. But it has come to the point where this can no longer be ignored, to the point that I can no longer discount the farcical, hilarious, daffy behaviors that surround me on a daily basis.

So to quickly bring you up to date I have moved on. I am now in what we call "transitional housing", the idea comes from the thought that this is the phase that we transition into the real world, into society, back into the place that chewed us up and spit us out. In reality it is more like a transition into a place that is just insane as the place I just came from, the petri dish of a living arrangement. What I have transitioned into is a home where a logically person would think " Oh well these people must have it together a little more than the people in the intensive phase of treatment, they have learned the tools to survive and now they are trying them in the real world." WRONG!! I thought that too, oh how wrong I can be, it's interesting how far off my idea of what "could be" can be so far off it's embarrassing. You would think after 7 rehabs I would know this "system" like the back of my hand, but there is one thing everyone has to remember about this crowd... they...we are totally unpredictable...to the point of disaster.

So I am now being reintegrated into society, a caterpillar breaking out of the cocoon after a long agonizing phase of metamorphosis. I moved into a house with a bunch of the guys I went through treatment, into the "pent house room" given that name because it is the biggest room in the house, and you dont share a bathroom. Its a nice room, all things considered. But there was one thing I failed to grasp, "why, if it is the nicest room , am I moving into it". This room is often reserved for the seniors of the program, and I am certainly no senior compared to the majority of these house mates. Some have been there 2 or more years. Well sadly, and to my demise, I soon found out why this bed was open, and no one had moved into it. It is because of the Sasquatch-like organism that resides there, in the "pent house". I will call him...hmmm...Dip-shit. Let me describe this social reject to you, it may seem mean what I am about to say, but I will express some kind of empathy afterward.

Dip-shit is the most abrasive, ugly, annoying, cocky ( I don't understand how such behemoth can be cocky)dick I have ever met. It was made clear to me with in the first 3 hours of moving in there why no one wanted to move into Dip-shit's room. My first impression of him was seeing his neat room, which is very nice on the surface, I hate messy people so this was a plus. I was soon made aware that this neat, primp display was but a veneer to cover up a slob of a man, a total asshole, who, for some reason, feels he is above everyone he encounters, feels he knows everything said person needs to know to live a happy life, and feels the need to press this opinion on you like a hot iron on the small of your back. Damn , I really do get along with a lot of people but this is a test, hopefully someday this will pay off, my thought is , if I can learn to deal with this guy , than I should never, ever, for any fucking reason, have another problem with another human being in my life.

Our first interaction went like this:

I walk into the room after getting coffee after I moved into the room. Dip-shit was gone at work when I moved in. So I walk in the bedroom to go take a piss (coffee does this to me, I know it does it to everyone, but when I drink coffee its like the amount of liquid I just drank multiplies by 20 and I piss every 3 minutes, like a 90 year old man)and Dip-shit is standing by his bed doing some type of taekwondo that no man his size should ever attempt, it looked like a whale would , if the whale was standing upright on its tail attempting to do jumping jacks. So anyway, Dip-shit looks at me and becomes annoyed, I assume it's because I interrupted the spiritual trance he had entered to exercise his soul, but it was something much more pathetic. Dip-shit approach me with a out stretched pointed finger claiming that "you and I need to have a one on one". My first thought is " Great this ass is already starting, the rumors I heard were true" and my judgmental thoughts were dead on, I couldn't have been closer to the truth. D.S. precedes to lead me into the bathroom where he freezes and looks down at the toilet paper roll without saying a word, not a one. He peers over his glasses, like an angry school teacher, and waits patiently for me to ask "what?" "Well Mike" he so curtly exclaims with a long exhale afterward, as to physically display his disappointment. "Why the hell would you leave an empty toilet paper roll, there was a full roll on there when I left for work". " I don't know what you are talking about Dip-shit, I haven't even been here, I haven't even used this bathroom, I just came in now to take a piss", this is the truth I hadn't even seen the bathroom before this moment.

" So your saying someone is coming into my room to use my bathroom and all of my fuckin toilet paper"

"Ours"

"What?" Dipshit asks

"Our room Dip-shit"

I know exactly what Dip-shit was trying to accomplish from this interaction, and I was not going to buy into it. Dip-shit is attempting to claim his property, to let me know he is not to be fucked with, in an attempt to quell any disagreements over territories that may arise in the future, little does he know that I don't let anyone rent room in my head , especially this ass." So what are we going to do?", "I don't know Dip-Shit, what do you want me to do" I ask thinking that would be the end, but I was wrong, I had under estimated the nerve of this creature.

" Well what if I have to wipe my ass tonight, what am I going to do?" (really this is the conversation word for word), "improvise asshole" was the only smart-ass comment I had in my arsenal in response to such a question. He asked this question like it was rhetorical, like I should know that he wants me to find him a roll, because this was his next question " Well you gonna find a roll?"... this type of whipping boy personality is not in any way, shape, or form inside of me, so that was not going to happen. It was like he wanted me to respond like a little homeless English boy who, on the brink of starvation goes and fetches the top-hatted, high society member, his morning paper for a piece of bread, "Oh right away Mr.Dip-Shit, thank you so much sir, you have always been so good to me, thank you sir."

And just like that he realized that this was not going to be an east conquer, he would not easily claim this room as his own, treating me as a tenant, or a guest. You would think that after being in this program for 3, yes 3 years he would have developed some social skills. But no, this person is socially inept, totally impossible to communicate with on a reasonable, logical level.

I do feel bad for Dip-Shit, people like him don't ever develop meaningful, worthwhile relationships. They push everyone that gets close away with their need to be dominant, or it would appear this way. In reality I think it is actually that these type of people sabotage themselves, they don't really have a need to be dominant ,rather they hate themselves and therefore unconsciously create situations and events that give others a window to hate them as well. I have been there I know all about it, that's where the empathy comes in. But i still think he is an asshole.